The Raw Chef

Picking Up The Messages

Close your eyes (clearly you're going to have to read the rest of this first!).  Imagine an 80 year old man or woman (depending on what sex you are) in front of you.  What does she look like?  Does he have grey hair?  Is her skin wrinkled and marked?  Does he look 100 rather than 80?  Is she bent over in an awkward hunch or standing up straight?  Does he speak slowly with a laboured thought process or does he speak freely and easily?  Is she using a walking stick, is she incapable of walking altogether?!!

Stop reading and do this simple exercise before reading on.

Done?  OK, read on... 

Ever feel like you're being watched?

"Dance as if no one is watching.  Love as if you have never been hurt.  Sing as if no one can hear.  Live as though heaven is on earth."

Firstly, about my New Year...

Well I ended up going to a night club with some of my friends and becoming one of those drunk people that I was talking about!  It only took a couple of glasses of wine though!!!  I actually had a great time and it was nice to go out with everyone before I leave to live in Cambridge in 4 weeks time.  Even though I 'fell off the wagon' I always work on the basis that everything I do is exactly what is needed at that time.  I trust in the Universe and my angels to guide me to things that happen for a reason and provide me with balance.  It's not always clear what the reason is straight away, but it is always revealed along the line somewhere.  I can think of numerous things that are in my life today that wouldn't be if things hadn't happened 'just so', things that even seemed painful at the time.  I think you may be able to relate? :-)

During the day on the 31st I did make it to Vita Organic but I forgot my camera so no food shots this time!  Lel bought me lunch but they weren't doing any raw there as it was going to be so busy, being NYE and all.  So we had a selection from the buffet which is all cooked, but cooked under 100 degrees to maintain the good nutritional goodies.  When I was told there was no raw that day I have to say I was a little bit disappointed but it took over 2 hours to get into London and I wasn't about to get there and not eat.  It was a reminder about the freedom this way of eating has given me.  I have got the freedom to eat exactly what I want and that included a cooked meal on that particular day, because of the situation I was in...and I really enjoyed it, guilt free!

After the meal we hopped on the Underground (the strike wasn't as disruptive as they had made out in the media!) to China Town and to my delight, picked up 8 coconuts!  I can finally make some of those recipes that need coco meat!

The effects of a 'heavy' night

I didn't surface from my bed until after 1pm on New Years Day and it really reminded me of those wasted hang-over days that I used to get when I would go out clubbing - yeeeeuuch!  That's the part I find most troubling now, the waste of a day or in this case, a morning.  Salvaged the rest of the day with making some flax crackers and some quality salad to cleanse myself of the previous nights indulgences.  Also had a really good house clean with Lel and got rid of the Christmas tree which was 'pooping' needles all over the floor.  I think i'm going to be finding pine needles everywhere for weeks.  There was a reason that tree was so cheap!  There's alot to be said for the more expensive 'minimal drop' trees, that's what i'll have next year.

Deeper effects...

For the next few nights I noticed feeling very uneasy in my house - I felt like I was being watched.  I was downstairs late one evening, on my own , having a satsuma before bed time.  I was standing next to the big glass doors that lead out to the long and dark garden and I felt a wave of fear engulf me.  I just imagined someone in the garden watching me, waiting and ready to run at the doors and scare the life out of me.  It took all of my powers of reason not to get out of there!  I usually leave my bedroom window open at night to let the air in but found myself closing it just in case someone got in...I really sound mentally unhinged don't I?

I had very broken sleep and even had a nightmare that woke me up in a panic at 4:30am because I thought I was in a computer game, fighting for my life!  From the very little I can remember, I was fighting it out with 10 different characters who all had their own way of killing you.  I managed to beat the huge, Predator-type monster (do I sound like i'm 5 years old?) that had a gun and had trouble battling with the one who, if you looked in her eyes, it meant you had to kill her! :-(

I'm ok now though - back to chasing off burglars and wrestling alligators with my bare hands, just to make myself feel more masculine again!

Needless to say I won't be over-doing it for a while, it's good to have these little reminders of why we don't do certain things anymore though, don't you think?

Sleep well :-)

Burning the midnight oil

Ok, i'm not feeling tired at all tonight, hence the 3 blog entries!  I think I had a full 8 hours sleep for the first time in weeks last night, and it's knackered me out!  I actually had to have a 20 minute power knapp earlier.  I think after having that sleep last night, my body was saying, "hey, I like this, let's have a bit more please".

Post-Christmas shopping!

Spent a bit of time in a shop called 'Authentic' yesterday.  As you may be able to tell from the name, they sell all kinds of spiritual goodies and it's right up my street (metaphorically, not geographically).  They did have some things in there that weren't really my kind of thing though...I think i'll leave the ceramic dragons until I meet someone that I dislike enough to want to buy them a Birthday present!  If you know me personally, watch out.....you're Birthday could be a horrible realisation of how I feel about you! :-)

I did actually pick up a present and beautiful card for someone (wasn't it Christmas last week?) though and it seems to have been gratefully received.  Also bought some Mystic Mist and Passion Flower incense sticks, and a CD called 'The Buddha Experience' which is currently providing me with some beautiful ethereal background tunage. I love this type of music, they do a whole series of The Buddha Experience which I may have to make some further purchases from.

Been doing some research online to find natural packaging for a range of foods that I plan to market next year.  I've managed to find an excellent resource for completely natural, biodegradable packaging that's made from 100% renewable resources so i'm really happy at the moment. :-)

New Years Eve plans

Not quite sure what i'm doing for New Year at the moment.  My house-mates are asking me to go out clubbing with them but I just don't fancy it to be honest.  I would love to go out with them, but not clubbing, I just can't get my head around being in a smoke-filled club around drunk people, most of whom won't even remember the midnight celebrations...I know this from my own experiences so i'm not judging anyone, honest! :-)

I might just take a leaf out of Karen's book and spend some time with myself, it's a bit unconventional but i've heard that some people actually cook their food, now that seems a little strange to me! :-)  It could actually be the best way to see in what I know is going to be the year of my life (so far).  I think I may go up to Portsdown Hill for midnight to watch the fireworks that you can see going off all over Portsmouth. I went there last year and it was truly breathtaking, there's a big crowd that gathers there and a real sense of community, which I love.  Strangers even talk to each other - very un-British!

Raw New Years Eve

Planning a trip to Vita Organic tomorrow which should be fun seeing as the Underground workers are going on strike!  It's only a short walk from Victoria station anyway and failing that we could try our luck with the buses.  As always i'll be taking pictures of my food before I eat it and i'll do a mini-review of the place here on my blog.

What i've eaten today

Started the day off with an apple, orange, banana, celery, cashew, carrot, lemon, lime, avocado smoothie with Thor's Raw Protein powder, which tasted a lot nicer than it looks now i've written it down!  At lunch I just had some cashews and this evening I had a chocolate smoothie made with the last of my choc powder, :-( maca extreme, bananas, water, dates and avocado.  This evening I finished off my hummus with some pomodorino tomatoes on top of which I then ate some chocolate mousse.  So quite an unorthodox day, food-wise.  I feel like I want to eat about 5 kilos of kale and avo salad tomorrow!

Go green in style!

"In our modern age of Whole Foods and hybrid cars and flat screen TVs that are super energy efficient, ...it's really about living a life that has concern for the planet but also doing it with style, authenticity and just a little bit of personal flair."

Danny Seo

If you're in the USA you may already know about Danny Seo.  I happen to have come across his website tonight and loved his philosophy so much that I thought i'd share it with you as I felt it draws some parallels with how I feel about raw foods.  This guy is on a mission to save the planet.....with style!  He is eco-advisor to the stars, having advised Hollywood's top A-listers, recently helping Brad Pitt 'go green'..  This guy knows the power of celebrity and he ain't afraid to use it!!!  Here's what USA Today had to say about him.....

"Say "environment" to Danny Seo, and it's as if you've punched the word into the search engine Google:  Out roars an avalanche of ideas and references that threatens to scramble your brain."

In an interview with USA Today Seo says, "My job isn't to convince you to protect the environment.  I'm also not here to tell you this is cool.  But I am here to tell you this is an easier way to live, and it helps the environment."  What a great philosophy!  As a raw chef my job isn't to convince anyone to eat the way I do, I just see it as my mission to help people in making it easier to make the right choices, if that's what they want.

Next year i'm going to be producing a range of foods that you will be able to buy via mail order, here in the UK, that you're going to love and that will ultimately make it easier for you to eat raw.  My vision is that, before long, you will be able to buy these products in your local health food shop, wherever you live.  I want to make the decision to eat raw as easy as deciding which packet to take off the shelf!!!

Grounded & Centred

"We have to formulate what we want, be so concentrated on it, so focused on it, and so aware of it that we lose track of time, we lose track of our identity."

"The moment we become so involved in the experience that we lose track of ourselves, we lose track of time, is the only picture that's real.  Everybody's had the experience of making up their mind that they've wanted something."

"That's Quantum Physics in action.  That's manifesting reality."

Dr. Joseph Dispenza

The picture on the left is my Christmas dinner this year, it kind of all came together at the last minute!  I had pesto stuffed mushrooms which I had made the night before because Lel and I got hungry whilst watching Lee Evans' insanely funny new DVD.  By the time they were done we only wanted a couple each so I had them left over.  I also had Juliano's raw 'meatloaf' which I made in the morning yesterday after slaving over a warm dehydrator for all of an hour!  The salad under the loaf is made up of whatever I had in the fridge. That was a selection of fresh organic green leaves delivered Christmas Eve by my local organic farm, some pomodorino tomatoes, alfalfa sprouts, splash of lemon juice and some macadamia nut oil.  I took it round my Mum's house to join everyone for dinner and i've since found out that my Step-Dad was so impressed with how it looked that he's interested in getting some raw food inside him!  My Mum's really pleased with that because she really wants to get into it all and feels like she needs some support from him.  They're both going on a detox retreat to Spain next year so it looks like i'll be running a meals-on-wheels service until then, hmmmmm, now there's an idea!!! :-)

My fridge is looking very full with all sorts of goodies at the moment.  I guess it's the raw food equivalent of left-over turkey.  I've got several dips, a chocolate mousse that will definitely feature in a chocolate torte recipe soon (watch this space), some durian that Karen brought down for me, large amounts of greens, the list goes on....

Lel sometimes keeps her fruit and veg in my fridge and was rooting through there this morning to make Dylan (the rabbit) his breakfast.  She turned to me with a bag of kale in her hand and said, "is this yours or Dylan's?"  You know you're doing something right when your friends don't whether the food in the fridge is yours or the rabbit's!!!

Things seem to be falling into place nicely for my move to Cambridge.  Looks like one of the other instructors with our driving school is going to buy my car from me and take over my pupils.  Once we're into January i'll start arranging house and flat viewings.  Very exciting!!!  I really just need to spend a whole day up there and find somewhere on that day as it takes 2.5 hours to get there on a quiet day.

So what's the 'grounded and centred' title about then?

Bought a great new Enneagram book a couple of days ago, it's called 'Are You My Type, Am I Yours?'.  If you aren't familiar with the Enneagram click here to find out all about it.  I can highly recommend taking the test online.  It's incredible how accurate it is and when you know what type another person is, it can be very revealing how you will interact with them, which is the main subject of this simply written and easy to understand book.

As you may know from a previous post, I am a type seven: The Enthusiast (also sometimes referred to as The Adventurer).  The brief description they give is this:  Sevens are motivated by the need to be happy, to contribute to the world, and to avoid pain and suffering.

Healthy sevens make adventure-sharing, productive partners.  They model generosity, optimism, and cheerfulness, and they inspire those around them to feel good.  In addition, developed sevens are supportive and help loved ones fulfill their potential.

Apparently sevens also tend to deny and gloss over difficulties without addressing the problem.  It's that part of my personality type that really got me thinking and has provided me with my keywords to take into 2006: 'grounded and centred'.  This means being grounded in reality and centred in my thoughts, it will also mean that I will avoid being pulled and pushed off course by people or events.  I am naturally a feeling type seven so I should find it relatively easy to stay with my feelings for longer and recognise my fear.  I have come to realise that there are alot of positives in being able to experience joy and pain, pleasure and sorrow.  My question to you as we approach a time that we are all drawn to reflect and think about our lives, is this: What 2 keywords will you take into 2006?  If you could choose 2 words to be your incantation for next year, what would guide you away from your past addictions in every situation?

Feelin' the pump

"Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles, they toughen and make strong."

Norman Vincent Peale

That's me in the picture on the left :-) hahaha..not yet anyway!  Aching in some strange places today.  All that activity at the weekend has obviously got me using muscles that haven't been used for a while.  Must have been the lifting, taking those boxes up and down the stairs at the open day.  Still managed to get to the gym tonight and had a great workout.  These results show a 2% improvement on the last A workout so the gains are now becoming harder to come by as i'm lifting some pretty big weights.  It's getting a little bit tiresome putting all those plates on the bars for each exercise.  I'm really thinking about getting myself an XF7000 Pro Static Contraction machine.  About 2 months ago I went to see a guy who has one and I was very impressed indeed.  Cuts out the need for any set up using heavy weights and gets the maximum overload on your muscles every single time.  I'm actually really excited about this machine as I think it could be a very real answer to alot of raw foodists' worries about being too skinny, particularly men.  I know that you just will simply not put on weight eating raw, quite the opposite in fact.  The only way to do it is to build muscle through demanding more of your body every time you workout and lift weights.  I'm certainly noticing results using the SCT system at the gym, without the SCT equipment.  I've also had some nice comments that back that up!  Weighed in at 70 kg exactly today.

Workout	Workout Date	Training
A - 6	Dec 09, 2005	SCT

Exercise Results for SCT Training
Exercise	Intensity - RSI	Total Weight	Hold	Time	Sets
Seated Shoulder Press	8.50 RSI	85 Kg	15	---	1
Barbell Shrug	17.30 RSI	155 Kg	7	---	1
Close Grip Bench Press	9.10 RSI	100 Kg	10	---	1
Biceps Machine	6.80 RSI	98 Kg	5	---	1
Abdominal Machine	4.20 RSI	60 Kg	12	---	1
Total:	45.9 RSI	498 Kg	49	-	5
Average:	9.18 RSI	100 Kg	10	-	1

A truly great weekend

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most.  We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?"  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us.  And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Nelson Mandela

Ok, i've got a whole week to update you on so here goes..

Last time I wrote I was off to Little Earth Cafe in London for something to eat.  Actually, it was to take Lel out driving but i'm sure she won't mind me telling you she wasn't in great form on the driving front!  We made it to Little Earth at about 15:05 and I thought they may be closed as the advertised closing time on a Sunday is 15:00.  I'm glad I trusted my intuition which was telling me to go anyway as they might be fairly fluid with their closing times.  When we walked in they certainly weren't closing and were glad to serve us with 2 juices (orange, lime, pomegranate), 2 raw nut burgers on a bed of watercress, covered in the most amazing cashew sauce i've ever tasted, drizzled with honey mustard and topped with an avocado 'fan'.  Lel was going to leave a bit of hers so I did the decent thing and ate that too!  Desert was a 'Nutty Monkey' which was almond butter and OJ based.  It had some frozen banana in there too but I can't remember what else.  I love the vibe in that place.  It was just getting dark so they lit candles around the tables and had the usual ethereal music in the background.

The rest of the week was spent preparing for my demos at the Fresh Network open day.  Karen had asked me to do 2 demos of which 1 should be a Christmas recipe, preferably mince pies.  I scoured the internet for a recipe and even asked my fellow alumni from Living Light if they had any ideas.  I didn't consider that they don't have mince pies in the US and some thought I wanted a recipe to replicate a pie with minced cow in!!!  Actually everyone who responded to my request on the Yahoo group forum was very sweet in taking the time to help.  Vinette came up with a great looking recipe that I will definitely try out.  In the end I created my own recipe that went down an absolute storm!  I was even surprised how good those pies tasted, a real comfort food when eaten out of the dehydrator, mmmmmmmmm!

So as you may have guessed, the open day itself was great.  It's the first time i've done a demo to that many people (about 30) and I loved it.  Someone even took a photo of me whilst I was doing the demo!  The biggest payoff for me was at the end when I was being thanked for providing such great food.  That's a great feeling.

I've yet to do any of my Christmas shopping and only today did I realise how close it is to the big day.  I haven't really got many people to buy for so it's not exactly a major event for me.  I haven't got any brothers or sisters....all together now, "aahhhhhhh".  And haven't got many relatives at all (can you hear violins?) so it's really just Mum, Dad and friends.  We're doing Secret Santa in the house and i've got no idea what to get the person i've been drawn to buy for.  Should it been a good present or a funny present?  We've only got a ten Pound budget so I think it may be a bit of a jokey present!

And from the fog, a light emerges

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go.  Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts.  And we are never, ever the same".

Unknown

I have been eating very lightly over the past few days and it seems to have done the world of good.  I've actually just polished off a Kale and avocado salad which hit the spot very nicely indeed.  Today i've also had a chocolate smoothie, 2 pieces of raw chocolate (are you noticing a theme?), a handful of macadamias, and that's pretty much it from what I can remember.  I'm back on the juice tomorrow as i've only just had the chance to get to Tesco and do some shopping.  While I was in there I picked up a huge mixing bowl which was just under 4 quid, it's a simple thing but it made me happy!  As I was going through the checkout I saw my housemate Rachel on a till down the line so I waved my bowl at her to show my delight and she seemed very happy for me too.  The funny thing was, so did the woman behind her, standing in the queue who thought I was randomly waving a bowl at her.  She had one of those looks on her face that said, "I don't think I know you but you're waving a bowl at me in Tesco so i'm going to pretend I do know you, oh actually, you're scaring me now you freakish man".  You know one of those looks, i'm sure you see them all the time.

Getting into Tesco car park was a bit of a fun as well.  It was very windy this afternoon and as I was driving up to the store I had to dodge 2 trolleys that started to blow towards my car.  You should have seen my tactics to get round 'em.  My quick yet elegant manoevre enabled me to get my shopping with all the paint still on my car, which is always a perk!  Unfortunately the car that they did end up hitting had someone in it, I felt a bit bad for about a second and then worried that the guy in the car hadn't seen the trolleys and thought i'd hit him!

So anyway, since I last blogged the mental and emotional stuff seems to have lifted.  I'm much clearer in my thoughts even though i'm so tired I keep forgetting what i'm talking about when i'm half way through a conversation.  Mum came round for a cuppa (white tea) earlier and as I was talking to her, I completely forgot what I was trying to say, twice, about the same thing!  A good nights sleep tonight should sort things out, although I do feel remarkably perky for the amount of sleep i've had.

Went to see a lecture by Masaru Emoto on Wednesday night in London.  He's the guy who has photographed water crystals and has researched how thoughts effect their formation.  Check out his site and the photos if you haven't already, they are beautiful.  He's got some very interesting ideas, from what I could understand of his English!  The lecture started later than scheduled so I wasn't able to stay for the film otherwise I would have missed my last train.  Karen and I decided to leave after the lecture as she would have missed her train too.  We thought it would be a good opportunity to 'catch up' and go to Vita Organic for a feed at their new location in Soho.  We met some other Fresh members there and had a jolly pleasant evening.  My passion to bring raw foods to as many people as possible strengthens with every experience I have like this.  It was so nice to have quality food made for us and enjoy it in that kind of environment.  I don't know what was in the  dishes we had but since then my skin is probably the best it's been for months.  It could also be the fact that i've been eating so lightly that's responsible.

On my second trip of the day to Tesco earlier I took Lel who needed to get a few bits and pieces.  She had a bit of a moment at the clothes recycling  bank in the car park when she dropped all her old 'fat clothes' (her words, not mine) down the chute, never to be seen again.  All very significant and emotionally cleansing for her and a joy to see!

A message of gratitude

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.  We are like eggs at present.  And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg.  We must be hatched or go bad.

C.S. Lewis

Been 100% raw for nearly 4 weeks now.  My emotions and appetite seem to be all over the place at the moment.  I'm not tearful as I was but sometimes I feel very 'connected' and sometimes I don't, it can change several times in a day.  I also feel like I should be eating more but don't actually feel hungry.  It feels to me like i'm 'removing another layer of the onion skin' and that i'm going through some kind of change, some kind of blockage removal.  I think it's a good thing but it feels very strange.  I just feel like I need to ride it out.  I'm going to get a decent nights sleep tonight and I may do a juice day to see if that helps.  I may get myself a colonic as well.  When I blog i'm now going to include information about what I eat, so here's what I had today:  A green juice this morning; 2 pieces of raw chocolate; a trail mix of goji berries, sultanas and cacao; a lemonade juice (1/2 lemon with rind on, 3 apples, 4 sticks celery) after my run and visit to the steam room; humus with baby toms; one cup white tea.

My new mattress arrived yesterday and it's lovely.  I ordered it about 6 weeks ago from Next.  It's called a 'Cambridge', how funny!  I slept on it last night (as you do!) with newly washed bed covers, aaaaaahhhhh, nothing like it.  Makes it very hard to get out of bed in the morning though!

Everywhere I turn at the moment i'm being told to give thanks and be grateful.  It seems impossible for me to get through the day without having a conversation, reading an email, reading a book, looking at a website, in fact anything, without being told that gratitude is everything.  I see this message at least 3 times a day....ok, I get it!!!  Having just written that last bit, i'm not sure if I have got it actually.  I see the message but do I give thanks enough?  I'm making a commitment here and now to fill out my gratitude journal everyday next week!

Got in contact with a life coach on Friday.  Well, I sent an email making some inquiries.  It's something i've always promised i'd do for myself when I qualified to be an ADI and am earning decent money, and now here I am.  There's lots going on in my head at the moment with regards to relationships, opportunities, money and just about everything.  Someone is becoming very important to me in my life and has brought as many questions as answers to my awareness.  There's going to be alot going on in my world in one way or another in the next 12 months.  It's fantastic stuff and I feel like I need outside help to channel it all.  I think this life coach I contacted could be the one to help.  We'll see.

Learning to listen to my head as well as my heart

"There is wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart"

Charles Dickens

So Thursday was the day I was due to hand in my notice at Tesco.  If you read my previous blog, you will know that I wasn't able to print out the resignation letter because I ran out of ink!  When that happened I have to admit that I started to think something was telling me not to do it.  I managed to dismiss it, telling myself not to look into things too much.  Now, the whole thing with handing my notice in at Tecso is the fact that the money situation will be a bit tight.  With that in mind, can you imagine what I was thinking when, on Thursday morning my mobile phone stopped working and my power steering malfunctioned.  All I could think was, "what if I didn't have Tesco?  I would have to cancel all my lessons for that day (which I had to do on Friday) and also pay for these things to be fixed.  To top it all off, the garage said they couldn't fit me in for a week!!!

So i'm driving to work, still trying to convince myself that none of these things were any kind of 'sign'.  Whilst at work I was able to give it some thought.  The thought of leaving was now feeling very uncomfortable but the thought of staying was even more painful.  So I started asking myself that if I am supposed to stay at Tesco a bit longer, what could be the possible reason?  Why am I being given these signs and feelings?....

Then an answer came to me!

I am planning to move out of Sussex next year.  When I move I will need to set up a base of pupils for my driving business, which will obviously take some time.  Staying at Tesco a little longer will enable me to earn money immediately when I move.  It will also allow me to make the move in February.  When that came to me, I got a total light bulb moment!  "Yes that's it", it felt so right that I had absolutely no doubt around it.  What I can also do is transfer to a different job within Tesco until Feb so I can be happier while i'm there.

In the end my mobile phone didn't t cost me anything to get sorted and neither did my car as it's still under warranty, bonus!  So to get the answer I needed, I had to go through those things and actually go through the process of writing my resignation.  If you trust in the Universe, look for these things and ask the questions of yourself it really can be a beautiful thing.