It All Starts With A Decision

So I've been in Cambridgeshire nearly 2 months now and I'm feeling a little 'ungrounded'.  By that I mean I've been feeling that there aren't many things around me that are permanent, I feel 'in limbo'.  There's a number of reasons for this, firstly it's the terrain..it's so open, flat and a little disconcerting if I'm honest.  It's very different from the suburbia that I'm used to in Sussex.  Where I came from is very built up, with major cities like Brighton and Portsmouth very near, you really don't have to travel far until your in the next town.  Of course, Cambridge is only 20 minutes away, but it seems like further sometimes.  I'm not used to not being able to pop out to the local retail park for stationary or DIY stuff, the funny thing is, I never really did that very often but now I haven't got the option to, it seems to really matter.

Then there's the sea...I miss the sea.  But again, I didn't really go to the seafront very often and when I would drive past it several times a day I didn't really appreciate it.  Add this to the fact that the village I'm living in is very different to what I had expected, if you're going to live out in the country you expect it to be quiet!

I've moved out of my hometown before, first to Horsham and then to Manchester for a year but didn't have these feelings.  Part of that may have been because when I went to Manchester I knew it would be temporary.  I think the main reason though is that I feel disconnected.  In both of those places that I lived I wasn't into raw.  I was eating whatever came my way and drinking as much alcohol as any other twentysomething.  It's alot easier to be accepted when you 'fit in' but I'm not interested in fitting in anymore so where does that leave me?  It leaves me turning down the invitations to go out drinking that I've had.  It leaves me not wanting to have to explain myself to a new group of people just so I can fit in.  Back in Sussex I had a group of friends that knew the lifestyle I've chosen and (eventually) accepted it.  I guess this is why some people start eating cooked food again after having been raw, to try and fit in and get rid of these feelings of disconnectedness (is that a word?).

That's not an option for me though, I'm The Raw Chef for goodness sake! :-)  In all seriousness though, I guess I have got that option but it won't get me to where I want to be.  It's just not something I want to do.

Having spent some time thinking about this I've come to some really positive conclusions.  Firstly, I've realised that my flat doesn't feel homely enough because I had it in my head that I was going to move to a different house, somewhere bigger and away from the Chavs!  So I've been having a tidy up and a real change around in the living room.  I've now set up one corner for my office stuff and the rest of the room is eagerly awaiting the sofa, rug, new curtains and a few other bits and pieces I've just ordered.  I've also got some really nice wooden blinds coming for the kitchen, which should stop the woman in the house opposite staring at me!!!

Just by making the conscious decision to accept this as my home and to appreciate the differences from anywhere else I've lived, I feel completely different.  One of the most amazing things about being here is the sky, both at night and during the day.  The lack of hills makes for very big skies and the sunsets are stunning.  You really feel the space here when you've been in London too, I love that contrast.

I've also made an appointment at the local gym which I visited on Friday.  I was very impressed with the place, and in particular the equipment.  I'm going to be starting up a second blog which will cover not only my workouts but will be dedicated to following my progress as I find a system to gain weight on a raw food diet.  I've already got some ideas for this blog, it's going to be fun and a little bit 'tongue in cheek' but will be interesting reading for anyone wanting to gain weight (and entertaining for anyone else who doesn't!).

Kung Fu is going to be back on the agenda for me too.  My old Kung Fu club has a branch in Milton Keynes which is an hour away - a long way to go for KF I know!  However, there is also a massive snowdome in Milton Keynes so I have decided to have Mondays off and go snowboarding then on to KF to make the trip more worthwhile.

And finally, seeing as Spring has just sprung, it's always a good time for a cleanse.  I'm going to be doing an Ejuva cleanse (should make for some interesting blog material) before I get stuck in to my weights routine, and also get my blood and fitness tested so I know where I'm starting from.

Where has all the energy for this come from?  Just from having the personal breakthrough I've been talking about.  When you make a decision and have a breakthrough you really start to realise the power you have over your own life and the decisions you make that effect it.

"It is in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped"
Tony Robbins

Comments

[beautyunsullied]

Yes, I know it can be difficult to have a social life when adopting this type of lifestyle because it seems like all most people want to do these days is to go out and get drunk! I think there are more like-minded people out there than we may think but they must be hiding away somewhere! As for the lady who keeps staring at you...well can you blame her?! You are so cute!